I wish these business sayings would go the way of the dodo. I don’t know where the corporate drones learn these sayings, but it might be time to look into carpet bombing it if we find out where they do.

Here are this week’s annoyances:

Going Forward
“Going forward, we’re all going to have to dig in”. This is just stupid. There’s no need to state that something has to be done going forward. It’s not like we can actually go back in time and to something? I guess this just sound nicer to the MBA drones than something like “From now on”.

Mission Critical
Well, aren’t you a special little astronaut? You must’ve been on a shuttle or space station to pick up this one right? Unless I missed a memo somewhere, I’m not aware of any mission that I’m on.  The word critical could simply be used on its own without the addition of the space fluff to make us sound more important that we really are.

Keep me posted
Sir Yes Sir! People usually use this to end a conversation they don’t want to continue with, without hurting the feelings of the other person involved. What utter poppycock. How about I keep you posted? Posted to a pole using some rusty nails. Would that work for you?

Action Item
When did this replace the simple word TASK? It makes me want to wretch whenever I hear this used. Action Item sounds like it should belong in the props department of a movie or better yet, porn set. “Hey Dirk, pass me that action item over there will you?” ?Pow Chicky Pow Pow?

Hit the Ground Running
I don’t even know where this stupid phrase came from, but the next person who tells me that I need to “hit the ground running” instead of simply saying “Get started immediately” is going to hit the ground running in a different way. One that involves less running, and more being run over by a car and dragged.

On the same page
How about just saying “are we in agreement”? Nope, doesn’t make us sound like enough of a tool. Are we performing some kind of perverted synchronised reading activity to have to be “on the same page”?

I wish people would stop trying to sound smart by using all these silly phrases. No-one except other business drones like yourself actually enjoy hearing this crap.

Rather act smarter and do whatever you need to efficiently and without the fluff.

*Grumble*
DM