I hate telemarketers. In fact I hate everything about their stupid profession.
How often are you busy with something at home or at work, only to receive a phone call similar to this?
Hello! Is this Mr D. Mentor?
Yes....
Hello Sir, this is Pest speaking. I’m calling you from “Financial Institution X” to tell you about a great new insurance/funeral/life cover/accident/bullfighting product we have available for you.
No thanks, I’m not interested...
But Mr Mentor, what would happen if you or your family were to be in an accident, heaven forbid?
No thanks, I’m not interested...
Surely you would want to know that you are taken care of? That’s what our product offers!
*Click* Boooooooooooooooooooooop
First of all, I hate the fact that these cretins phone me whenever they feel like it to offer me some worthless product that I had no interest in to begin with. Surely if I had the need for bullfighting insurance or whatever they’re punting I would’ve approached them myself or at a minimum spoken to a financial consultant?
Secondly, I hate the pre-scripted sales schpeel that they all have in front of them and try and use to coax you into buying something you don’t want or need. What also seriously grates my cheddar is this tactic they try to employ to make it sound like they actually know you and/or care about you. The tactic is a simple one; just insert your name as often as possible during sentences.
Allow me to give you an example:
Hi Bob, this is Dave. I’m calling from XYZ, Bob, to offer you a great new Sharkbite protection policy, Bob, and all it will cost you Bob, is a measly R120 a month Bob. That’s almost for gratis! How does that sound to you Bob?
I like messing with them when they do this. All you have to do is say their name on your end whenever they say yours. Try it the next time this happens, the uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line is priceless.
Thankfully, only these types of companies use this “randomly-phoning-you-to-promote-their-crap” marketing tactic. I say thankfully simply because I would not want to be in a world where supermarkets, for example, do the same thing.
Hi sir, this is Jane from Pick n Pay. We have a great deal on milk today, only R12 for 2 Litres! How does that sound to you?
As far as I understand it is also against the law for these companies to phone you while you are at work, so if they really pester you, threaten them with legal action and tell them to remove you from their database.
Also worth checking out is an organisation called the Direct Marketing Association of South Africa which keeps a database of people who do not wish to be contacted by telemarketers. By law any company that wishes to embark on a direct marketing campaign has to check that you are not on this database before they can contact you. Visit www.dmasa.org and check out the 'Opt out' tab.
Wishing you reduced spam calls!
DM
