Merry Saturnalia and a Happy Mid-Night Cacophony to all!

What am I on about? Simply the origins of the silly holidays we celebrate nowadays. Few people actually take the time to find out where these customs all come from, and fewer still worry about what they’re actually celebrating.

For instance, the next time someone yaps on about “putting Christ back into Christmas” invite them to go and Google the origin of Christmas. Then stand back and enjoy the shock and confusion that will follow. Simply put, Christmas started out as a Roman celebration called Saturnalia, was adopted by the church to function as a celebration of Jesus’ birthday (which based on some very clever scholars was more than likely in September somewhere rather than December) and used to convince the masses that were used to the Roman Saturnalia celebrations to move to Christianity so that they wouldn’t lose out on the traditional celebrations.

Now before the Christians out there start bashing me about this, I have no issue with Christianity or any religion out there, in fact, you can believe in whatever you want to, I’m simply stating facts. My problem is that regardless of where Christmas originated from, and the fact that for ages it has been used to celebrate the birth of Jesus, it has now turned into such a commercial cash cow, that whatever it was meant to celebrate in times past has now been lost.

All it means now is lots of money. Lots and lots of money to be made off all the little lemmings out there that go mental and buy gifts for each other. While I’m on the topic of gifts, I try and put some thought into the gifts that I purchase for others. I at least try and make sure that what I buy is something useful or meaningful to them, even if it is a cheap gift. I HATE putting all that effort into others, simply to be disappointed when I get some crappy gift in return.

Seriously - a cheap Chef’s knife? I am not a chef, nor am I an aspiring Gordon Ramsay. What the hell would I need a knife for? And any person that gives you socks at this time of the year should be shot. Another gripe I have with gifts is this mentality some people have of buying one gift for a couple instead of something for each person. Not because I’m selfish, simply because only one person in the relationship will actually like or benefit from the gift.

I am male, therefore I unfortunately can’t feign excitement in receiving a glass vase like thing as a gift to my wife and I. Fill the thing with biltong, and I might be happy. And again, before the morons out there start sending me mails like “But Christmas is about giving! Not Receiving Lol!” allow me to say this. Screw you; I don’t care what you might say. There is no single person alive that would rather give a present than receive one. Go preach that bullshit to the rest of the inhabitants of lala land.

From next year onwards I refuse to buy gifts for people that I don’t like, and even then, I better like you a whole lot before you can expect a gift from me. I refuse to spend a lot of money unnecessarily just to “get into the Christmas spirit”. If it’s all about giving instead of receiving, why don’t the shops out there start giving us free gifts? Because it’s all about them making as much money from you as possible, and I for one will no longer enrich them just so I can be in debt in the beginning of the following year.

New Year’s celebration is much more like it. No deities involved, just a reason to celebrate and have a good time with friends and family. No gifts, just shots of your favourite drink and the company of others. Forget Christmas and spend far less money on an epic New Years bash. At least that crappy feeling you have the day after is temporary. Unlike the one you’ll have for a while paying back all your Christmas debt...

Here’s hoping you got better presents that a damn Chef’s Knife, and that your New Year’s celebration is Fantastic!
DM